This is really hard for me.. really hard to put into words. Hard to have this level of pain, much less have to flat out deal with it. I've been through so much with him, and it's unbelievable how many things a person can take through in one whole night. Everything can end, just right there in front of your eyes. I knew I would never get to talk to him again, but I was unable to speak.. the words couldn't come out as much as I wanted them to. All I wanted was to see him, his happy, lively face and his warm smile drift upon his face, but there was no use. There would be no more of that, only memories. And these memories are what scar me the most out of anything. I try not to show it, but it comes out when I think of him, my brother, bubba-my true friend. I will never forget him, ever.



..They brought his body to the hospital and put it on life support. By the time I arrived midday on the 6th, I was told that he still looked alive, like he was in a coma. Like there might be some hope, when of course there wasn't.

At first, I didn't want to see him. He had hit his head. What if I didn't recognize him? Or couldn't look at him? Or got sick? Or fainted? But by the time I got to him he'd been cleaned up. One side of his face was bandaged, and the other looked just like it always had. His eye was open a bit and it was like if I stared in hard enough, I could get a message through. His hands were warm and a little swollen. His skin was so soft - like mine and my mom's - and he had beautiful wrists. He was all beautiful, even banged up. Dead.